"Oh that I should go back," I thought. "They will know me, and I them, and the onerous words will comfort me even as I long for release from them.
""But I can never go back. Not really. Because to really go back, I would have to reverse my soul, which I could no more do than travel back in time, which perhaps was what I wished for now and all along.
""Is this true?" I wondered. "Would going there bring only an empty shell of contempt and horror before me? Or would I, could it be, that I would fall back into the warm dream, or even feel the hand of God again?
""In my formless, boyish way, would I even go, supposing I decided to, when it came down to it? Would I make such a small sacrifice to endure such horror, or such comfort - I know not which - or should I rather imagine myself doing it for a time and then moving on to the next meaningless page of my existence?
""How I loathed what had been done to me. My very foundation stripped away - left alone and cold in airless wonder. Is it any surprise that this sensitive soul should seek solace in something warmer and yet ultimately destructive? That I should seek one last great glorious kiss of life before death, and cast thoughts of death away onto the wind until it must suddenly overcome me?
""How can anyone, anyone at all understand me - they understand nothing at all and have no notion of hell, though I do. These mortals walking through their prescribed life with their false sense of securities! It is almost comical, and I wonder what other souls in heathen time's past have mocked this insight with words and song and art. What fools we all are! It seems the one redeeming quality to have is complete inability to be aware of one's own foolishness - this sustains a person through this world and lets them sleep at night.
""But there! I have said more than enough, too much perhaps. To beat against stone only bruises the beater. And so, these thoughts, like all others, shall pass away into the night..."
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Procrastination - Boy How Time Flies!
Well I've finally gotten around to making another blog post. I was pretty sure it was just a few days ago that I told myself I'd post something or other on my blog 'tomorrow'. Now I look at the date of my last post and go "Woah! Where'd all that time go?"
I think as we get older, time seems to go by faster. I find this alarming. I guess it makes sense though. When you are three, a year is a third of your whole life and seems like forever. When you are 37, a year is just a minor blip on the timeline. Which makes me wonder. Am I going to wake up a few days from now and go "Woah! How'd I get to be 72 and in this nursing home?"
That is pretty scary. I better make sure I treasure and make the most of every minute of every day. This is especially true of family. My mom and dad are both still alive and I take it for granted sometimes. I need to take advantage of the time I have left with them.
And then I think of my boys, aged 11 (another 'Woah! how'd that happen?' comes to my mind), 9, 6, and 1. I need to enjoy my time with them at these ages, because before I know it they will be grown up and out of the house and I'll be lamenting that fact if I'm not careful.
Time is tricky. Don't let it sneak past you.
(This reminded me of another post I made on the subject, which I went back and found. It is at http://tryinghardtobreakfree.blogspot.com/2006/03/time.html and based on the song lyrics of Pink Floyd)
I think as we get older, time seems to go by faster. I find this alarming. I guess it makes sense though. When you are three, a year is a third of your whole life and seems like forever. When you are 37, a year is just a minor blip on the timeline. Which makes me wonder. Am I going to wake up a few days from now and go "Woah! How'd I get to be 72 and in this nursing home?"
That is pretty scary. I better make sure I treasure and make the most of every minute of every day. This is especially true of family. My mom and dad are both still alive and I take it for granted sometimes. I need to take advantage of the time I have left with them.
And then I think of my boys, aged 11 (another 'Woah! how'd that happen?' comes to my mind), 9, 6, and 1. I need to enjoy my time with them at these ages, because before I know it they will be grown up and out of the house and I'll be lamenting that fact if I'm not careful.
Time is tricky. Don't let it sneak past you.
(This reminded me of another post I made on the subject, which I went back and found. It is at http://tryinghardtobreakfree.blogspot.com/2006/03/time.html and based on the song lyrics of Pink Floyd)
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Drawing of Lukey and Scampy
For Christmas my wife bought me a set of drawing pencils and charcoal and a sketch pad, so yesterday I did a drawing of my son Lukey holding our kitten Scampy. I'm not sure how much of the quality can be retained through scanning it into the computer as a JPEG image, but here it is:
One really neat thing about drawing (or any artistic endeavor) is that you can lose yourself in a sort of zone that is apart from the areas of your mind that keep track of time and responsibilities. After drawing the above picture (it took me about an hour and a half) my mind and emotions felt rested like I'd been on a mini-vacation. I think I'd like to start doing stuff like this more often - it provides a nice balance from the computer programming I do all day at work.
One really neat thing about drawing (or any artistic endeavor) is that you can lose yourself in a sort of zone that is apart from the areas of your mind that keep track of time and responsibilities. After drawing the above picture (it took me about an hour and a half) my mind and emotions felt rested like I'd been on a mini-vacation. I think I'd like to start doing stuff like this more often - it provides a nice balance from the computer programming I do all day at work.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
On The Inside
The snow its coming, coming down
On white and weary cloud-lit town.
The cold she's blowing, blowing in,
Bringing with it vice and sin.
The sun he's hiding, hiding well;
Everyone has lights to sell.
The dwarf is selling, selling all;
Every ticket to the ball.
The winter whistles, whistles shrill,
Setting up to make the kill,
And here I'm sitting, sitting slouched;
Legs all tucked up on my couch;
My lamps they're glowing, glowing soft,
Quilts and blankets in my loft.
My story's done; it’s done and told;
I've finally come in from the cold.
On white and weary cloud-lit town.
The cold she's blowing, blowing in,
Bringing with it vice and sin.
The sun he's hiding, hiding well;
Everyone has lights to sell.
The dwarf is selling, selling all;
Every ticket to the ball.
The winter whistles, whistles shrill,
Setting up to make the kill,
And here I'm sitting, sitting slouched;
Legs all tucked up on my couch;
My lamps they're glowing, glowing soft,
Quilts and blankets in my loft.
My story's done; it’s done and told;
I've finally come in from the cold.
Friday, November 10, 2006
A Winnie-the-Pooh Poem
If anyone reading this has ever read any of the works by A. A. Milne, particulary those dealing with Edward Bear, or "Winnie-ther-Pooh" as he was sometimes called by a certain little boy, and has a shred of introspective ability, you will know of the peculiar grace and delight that these stories can bring even to us so called "grown-ups."
One of Pooh's mannerisms is that he likes to make up rhymes that he hums to himself (and sometimes to others), and they all have a certain kind of...well, a certain something, a tone, if you will...or maybe you don't. But there it is, and I've written one below in my best Pooh voice, so perhaps you'll read it, and perhaps not, but if you do, as Eeyore would say (in a rather dry voice) "Thanks for noticing."
My Pooh Hum that I wrote for Megan Because She Taught me the Word "Confuzzled"
When thinking makes me weary
And my brain is getting bleary
And I don't know if I'm rhyming
With words like poodle, or my timing
Is just off because I'm puzzled
(Or is the word befuddled),
Unless it rhymes with poodle
Then I'd say that I'm confuzzle
(only I'd say it like 'konfoozel')
Or maybe its confuzzle
(you pronounce it like 'kunfuzel')
Like the honey on my muzzle
Which reminds me of a little something
That I must go and attend...
One of Pooh's mannerisms is that he likes to make up rhymes that he hums to himself (and sometimes to others), and they all have a certain kind of...well, a certain something, a tone, if you will...or maybe you don't. But there it is, and I've written one below in my best Pooh voice, so perhaps you'll read it, and perhaps not, but if you do, as Eeyore would say (in a rather dry voice) "Thanks for noticing."
My Pooh Hum that I wrote for Megan Because She Taught me the Word "Confuzzled"
When thinking makes me weary
And my brain is getting bleary
And I don't know if I'm rhyming
With words like poodle, or my timing
Is just off because I'm puzzled
(Or is the word befuddled),
Unless it rhymes with poodle
Then I'd say that I'm confuzzle
(only I'd say it like 'konfoozel')
Or maybe its confuzzle
(you pronounce it like 'kunfuzel')
Like the honey on my muzzle
Which reminds me of a little something
That I must go and attend...
Monday, October 02, 2006
When You Are Feeling Down Part II - a Discussion
Note: This discussion is about the topic of the poem entitled "When You Are Feeling Down" in the post prior to this one.
What Is Meant by "feeling down"?
In thinking about how to respond to someone who is feeling down, it first should probably be clarified what is meant by the term "down" in this context. "Down", in the sense being addressed here, is primarily an emotional state - one of sadness, depression, discomfort, discouragement, defeat, emotional pain, etc. As such I am addressing the emotional state directly, not so much the physical aspects that often accompany and/or are the cause of the individual "feeling down". This is a fine distinction but an important one.
What About Correcting the Problem?
I think our natural human tendencies when we see someone feeling down is to analyze their life and tell them what we think they should stop doing, and what we think they should start doing - i.e. we try to be 'fixers' of the problem by attacking directly at what we perceive are the sources of the problem.
This certainly seems to make sense from a logical perspective. After all, if a person comes to us and tells us they feel down, and we find that the reason this person feels this way is a result of receiving frequent speeding tickets from highway patrolmen, then advising the person to slow down and stop exceeding the speed limit when driving naturally would appear to be the logical response we would provide. This advice, if followed consistently, would almost certainly lead to the alleviation of getting speeding tickets altogether. It also seems logical that the negative emotions the person feels as a result of the consequences of driving too fast would also be alleviated because by driving slower such consequences are avoided. Nothing could be simpler, right? Wouldn't any other approach to helping this person with the problem be at best ineffectual, and at worst, just a bunch of useless and potentially harmful psycho-babble?
I do not disagree that many emotional problems are a result of consequences to specific actions (although this is not always true), nor do I disagree that correcting said actions would probably improve a person’s state of mind. However, that is not really what is being discussed here (or in the poem I wrote). Please consider the following carefully: the primary issue being addressed is how we should respond to someone who is feeling down, and why we should respond this way. While it is true that our interactions with such a person may help or hinder them overcoming any underlying problems they may have, the intent of this discussion is not to directly address “how to solve people’s problems” but rather could be better phrased as “what is the best response to a person who is feeling down?” It should be noted however (and this will be discussed in more detail below) that the latter often impacts the former.
The Problem With the "Fix-it" Response
As described above, the typical response to a person who comes to us feeling down is: "do what I tell you and it will solve your problems, and then you will feel better." However, there are two issues in regards to this that should be considered.
The first issue is that there is a reasonable possibility that the individual already knows what "fixes" would help their problem(s) to go away so that they could feel better. Most people are reasonably intelligent and capable of some insight. Particularly in situations they experience repeatedly or for long periods, there is a very good chance they know what types of actions could help alleviate their problems and thus the emotional pain associated with it. If this is the case, then the person probably needs comfort and reassurance to help give them strength to deal with their problems and/or state of mind. Going through a list of "Do's and Don'ts" and "enlightening" the individual on what faults and mistakes they have made that are resulting in them feeling this way is more likely to make them feel worse than better, nor is it likely to actually help much in any underlying problem solving. The things we tell a person they should stop doing and emphasizing which of their faults they need to improve on will most likely make them feel worse about themselves, and a long list of disciplined actions they need to start doing may make someone in a fragile mental state feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
The key thing to think about here is that many people are probably not very capable of correcting specific issues in their life when their state of mind is in the "down" mode. The thing that really needs to be addressed first is the emotional state. Once a person is in a positive frame of mind, then, and usually only then, will they be effective at dealing with the specific issues that led to this person "feeling down" in the first place.
I know that some disagree with this viewpoint. I used to be one of them, dismissing it as a lot of "liberal hooey" if not outright stupidity. The solution seemed so simple that it outraged me if someone suggested differently. If a person came to me who was feeling down I'd just tell the person what they needed to do to fix their problems (which would then make them feel better, I reasoned) and if they didn't agree with or follow my advice, then I figured it was their own fault they were feeling down because they were either refusing to help themselves or just too lazy to try. I also approached my own problems in this way, but for a long time never seemed to notice that I was never making any progress except downward, and even when I did begin to see this trend, I didn't immediately understand the why of what was going on.
Difficult experiences in a persons life usually leads to one of two opposing outlooks on life - more compassion or increasing bitterness. Being now close to the middle of my adult years and having personally experienced a fair number of trials has tempered my viewpoint on this topic. People who through luck or skill or inherited traits or any combination of such, and/or who have managed to avoid any major trials in their lives, as well as those who have become embittered at life due to harsh experience, may have a harder time agreeing with me on this issue. Then again, they may not - if they love God and are just greatful to him for having a blessed life.
The one thing that I can say unequivocally is this: When I personally have gone to people for comfort when I am feeling down, and was responded to with the "fix-it" approach described above, it rarely, if ever, helped me feel better or empowered me to overcome any underlying problems that may have been resulting in my feeling down. This is true despite the fact that I can genuinely say in all honesty that I truly wanted for the trial(s) to end in most such circumstances. I believe the problem is that emotions can be much more powerful than people give them credit for (although to what degree may vary from person to person due to past experiences and genetic traits), and until I could get past the negative emotions, my attempts at solving the underlying issues causing me to “feel down” would fail time and time again. I needed something else, but for a very long time I did not know what that was. I just felt defeated, discouraged, and depressed.
Emotions Don’t Do Logic
Like some maids don’t do windows, emotions don’t “do logic”; that is to say, emotion is an irrational condition and it doesn’t operate by rules of logic in human beings. The preceding statement is worthy of an extended discussion of its own, but I think at some level most of us recognize this as being true. This is part of the reason why the “fix-it” approach often fails – it is based on logic. When you throw logic at an emotion, there is little or no interaction that occurs. For example, when you tell a depressed person to do X, Y, and Z, they may logically agree with you that they need to do those things. However, their emotional state of mind may be so strong that they fail at trying to motivate themselves to implement the "logical solution", and they find themselves being defeated at trying to do whatever it is that will help them feel better. This generally leads to a response to the “fix-it” approach of feeling even more negative and discouraged, even (or especially) if the person agrees with you from a logical standpoint, but just can't seem to follow through with the "fix".
The idea here is to consider what the person really needs, and in a lot of cases, a person feeling down comes to us in hopes that we can help them feel better, put some joy and positive energy in their life, not in hopes that we can give them some sort of “strategic plan”, unless they specifically indicate otherwise (and sometimes not even then - remember, emotion is not logical). They may well know what they need to do specifically, but something intuitive inside is crying out and saying “I feel wretched and alone and defeated. I want and need to feel better. I need help in getting into a positive frame of mind so I can better deal with my problems.”
There are exceptions. Sometimes a person really doesn’t know what they need to do to feel better or correct their life. This can be especially true of younger people with less experience in life and/or for someone who is experiencing a trial unlike any they have experienced before. In such cases, giving good advice in the humble manner of someone genuinely trying to help and sensitive the other’s emotional condition can be of great value, especially if you have experienced something similar to what the person you are trying to help is going through. For more difficult situations, the best thing to do may be to encourage the individual to seek professional counseling. However, in all cases, the primary response of being supportive and positive is crucial if we really want to help.
If We Shouldn’t Try to "Fix" the Person, How Should We Respond and Why?
I believe that most of the time when someone comes to us and expresses that they are “feeling down” in one manner or another, the first and best response is to empathize. Try to put yourself in this persons shoes mentally for a moment. Try to genuinely understand what they are going through, and communicate this understanding to them. This alone can work wonders with a person; if they feel like you really understand and care about how they feel, then this alone may help them feel somewhat better, and they are likely to be much more willing to let you into their life to help them.
A second but equally important response is to focus on the positive traits of the person rather than the negative ones. This often grates against our sense of logic and sometimes such a suggestion even engenders moral outrage, but generally speaking your viewpoint on this will depend at least in part on where you are coming from. Love and Grace centered individuals will probably have an easy time accepting this premise, while a person with strict disciplinarian sensibilities and strong personal willpower may not. In either case, if a person truly wants to help another who is feeling down, focusing on the positive and not the negative simply works better in terms of helping them, regardless of how counterintuitive this may seem.
I know this from personal experience, because for many years I have felt “down”, and when going to others for comfort and receiving “strategic planning” rather than empathy and love and support, I almost always just felt worse, defeated, and less able to overcome than before. In the cases where I was met with empathy, concern, and love, I found myself stronger and better able to overcome issues that affected my emotional state. Currently I am blessed enough to be getting counseling from an excellent professional and a very kind and caring individual who approaches counseling from this viewpoint...and you know what? It works! For the first time in a long time, I am finding myself making progress – not by focusing on the bad within me or past failures, but by focusing on my good qualities, nurturing those sparks, taking my mind in a whole new direction – I am looking upward, rather than downward, if you will, and it is not just something that sounds nice to say or write about. It is making a big difference in my life.
I just want to pass this on to others, because I feel it is fundamentally important, and I also want to try in my own personal life to respond to others when they are feeling down in this way – a positive way, a way that can empower rather than defeat a person, a way that works. Love works. Compassion works. Empathy works. Support works. Being positive with someone works. All these things not only help the person to feel better, but by making them feel better can help empower them to overcome those issues that may have been causing them to feel down to start with.
What Is Meant by "feeling down"?
In thinking about how to respond to someone who is feeling down, it first should probably be clarified what is meant by the term "down" in this context. "Down", in the sense being addressed here, is primarily an emotional state - one of sadness, depression, discomfort, discouragement, defeat, emotional pain, etc. As such I am addressing the emotional state directly, not so much the physical aspects that often accompany and/or are the cause of the individual "feeling down". This is a fine distinction but an important one.
What About Correcting the Problem?
I think our natural human tendencies when we see someone feeling down is to analyze their life and tell them what we think they should stop doing, and what we think they should start doing - i.e. we try to be 'fixers' of the problem by attacking directly at what we perceive are the sources of the problem.
This certainly seems to make sense from a logical perspective. After all, if a person comes to us and tells us they feel down, and we find that the reason this person feels this way is a result of receiving frequent speeding tickets from highway patrolmen, then advising the person to slow down and stop exceeding the speed limit when driving naturally would appear to be the logical response we would provide. This advice, if followed consistently, would almost certainly lead to the alleviation of getting speeding tickets altogether. It also seems logical that the negative emotions the person feels as a result of the consequences of driving too fast would also be alleviated because by driving slower such consequences are avoided. Nothing could be simpler, right? Wouldn't any other approach to helping this person with the problem be at best ineffectual, and at worst, just a bunch of useless and potentially harmful psycho-babble?
I do not disagree that many emotional problems are a result of consequences to specific actions (although this is not always true), nor do I disagree that correcting said actions would probably improve a person’s state of mind. However, that is not really what is being discussed here (or in the poem I wrote). Please consider the following carefully: the primary issue being addressed is how we should respond to someone who is feeling down, and why we should respond this way. While it is true that our interactions with such a person may help or hinder them overcoming any underlying problems they may have, the intent of this discussion is not to directly address “how to solve people’s problems” but rather could be better phrased as “what is the best response to a person who is feeling down?” It should be noted however (and this will be discussed in more detail below) that the latter often impacts the former.
The Problem With the "Fix-it" Response
As described above, the typical response to a person who comes to us feeling down is: "do what I tell you and it will solve your problems, and then you will feel better." However, there are two issues in regards to this that should be considered.
The first issue is that there is a reasonable possibility that the individual already knows what "fixes" would help their problem(s) to go away so that they could feel better. Most people are reasonably intelligent and capable of some insight. Particularly in situations they experience repeatedly or for long periods, there is a very good chance they know what types of actions could help alleviate their problems and thus the emotional pain associated with it. If this is the case, then the person probably needs comfort and reassurance to help give them strength to deal with their problems and/or state of mind. Going through a list of "Do's and Don'ts" and "enlightening" the individual on what faults and mistakes they have made that are resulting in them feeling this way is more likely to make them feel worse than better, nor is it likely to actually help much in any underlying problem solving. The things we tell a person they should stop doing and emphasizing which of their faults they need to improve on will most likely make them feel worse about themselves, and a long list of disciplined actions they need to start doing may make someone in a fragile mental state feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
The key thing to think about here is that many people are probably not very capable of correcting specific issues in their life when their state of mind is in the "down" mode. The thing that really needs to be addressed first is the emotional state. Once a person is in a positive frame of mind, then, and usually only then, will they be effective at dealing with the specific issues that led to this person "feeling down" in the first place.
I know that some disagree with this viewpoint. I used to be one of them, dismissing it as a lot of "liberal hooey" if not outright stupidity. The solution seemed so simple that it outraged me if someone suggested differently. If a person came to me who was feeling down I'd just tell the person what they needed to do to fix their problems (which would then make them feel better, I reasoned) and if they didn't agree with or follow my advice, then I figured it was their own fault they were feeling down because they were either refusing to help themselves or just too lazy to try. I also approached my own problems in this way, but for a long time never seemed to notice that I was never making any progress except downward, and even when I did begin to see this trend, I didn't immediately understand the why of what was going on.
Difficult experiences in a persons life usually leads to one of two opposing outlooks on life - more compassion or increasing bitterness. Being now close to the middle of my adult years and having personally experienced a fair number of trials has tempered my viewpoint on this topic. People who through luck or skill or inherited traits or any combination of such, and/or who have managed to avoid any major trials in their lives, as well as those who have become embittered at life due to harsh experience, may have a harder time agreeing with me on this issue. Then again, they may not - if they love God and are just greatful to him for having a blessed life.
The one thing that I can say unequivocally is this: When I personally have gone to people for comfort when I am feeling down, and was responded to with the "fix-it" approach described above, it rarely, if ever, helped me feel better or empowered me to overcome any underlying problems that may have been resulting in my feeling down. This is true despite the fact that I can genuinely say in all honesty that I truly wanted for the trial(s) to end in most such circumstances. I believe the problem is that emotions can be much more powerful than people give them credit for (although to what degree may vary from person to person due to past experiences and genetic traits), and until I could get past the negative emotions, my attempts at solving the underlying issues causing me to “feel down” would fail time and time again. I needed something else, but for a very long time I did not know what that was. I just felt defeated, discouraged, and depressed.
Emotions Don’t Do Logic
Like some maids don’t do windows, emotions don’t “do logic”; that is to say, emotion is an irrational condition and it doesn’t operate by rules of logic in human beings. The preceding statement is worthy of an extended discussion of its own, but I think at some level most of us recognize this as being true. This is part of the reason why the “fix-it” approach often fails – it is based on logic. When you throw logic at an emotion, there is little or no interaction that occurs. For example, when you tell a depressed person to do X, Y, and Z, they may logically agree with you that they need to do those things. However, their emotional state of mind may be so strong that they fail at trying to motivate themselves to implement the "logical solution", and they find themselves being defeated at trying to do whatever it is that will help them feel better. This generally leads to a response to the “fix-it” approach of feeling even more negative and discouraged, even (or especially) if the person agrees with you from a logical standpoint, but just can't seem to follow through with the "fix".
The idea here is to consider what the person really needs, and in a lot of cases, a person feeling down comes to us in hopes that we can help them feel better, put some joy and positive energy in their life, not in hopes that we can give them some sort of “strategic plan”, unless they specifically indicate otherwise (and sometimes not even then - remember, emotion is not logical). They may well know what they need to do specifically, but something intuitive inside is crying out and saying “I feel wretched and alone and defeated. I want and need to feel better. I need help in getting into a positive frame of mind so I can better deal with my problems.”
There are exceptions. Sometimes a person really doesn’t know what they need to do to feel better or correct their life. This can be especially true of younger people with less experience in life and/or for someone who is experiencing a trial unlike any they have experienced before. In such cases, giving good advice in the humble manner of someone genuinely trying to help and sensitive the other’s emotional condition can be of great value, especially if you have experienced something similar to what the person you are trying to help is going through. For more difficult situations, the best thing to do may be to encourage the individual to seek professional counseling. However, in all cases, the primary response of being supportive and positive is crucial if we really want to help.
If We Shouldn’t Try to "Fix" the Person, How Should We Respond and Why?
I believe that most of the time when someone comes to us and expresses that they are “feeling down” in one manner or another, the first and best response is to empathize. Try to put yourself in this persons shoes mentally for a moment. Try to genuinely understand what they are going through, and communicate this understanding to them. This alone can work wonders with a person; if they feel like you really understand and care about how they feel, then this alone may help them feel somewhat better, and they are likely to be much more willing to let you into their life to help them.
A second but equally important response is to focus on the positive traits of the person rather than the negative ones. This often grates against our sense of logic and sometimes such a suggestion even engenders moral outrage, but generally speaking your viewpoint on this will depend at least in part on where you are coming from. Love and Grace centered individuals will probably have an easy time accepting this premise, while a person with strict disciplinarian sensibilities and strong personal willpower may not. In either case, if a person truly wants to help another who is feeling down, focusing on the positive and not the negative simply works better in terms of helping them, regardless of how counterintuitive this may seem.
I know this from personal experience, because for many years I have felt “down”, and when going to others for comfort and receiving “strategic planning” rather than empathy and love and support, I almost always just felt worse, defeated, and less able to overcome than before. In the cases where I was met with empathy, concern, and love, I found myself stronger and better able to overcome issues that affected my emotional state. Currently I am blessed enough to be getting counseling from an excellent professional and a very kind and caring individual who approaches counseling from this viewpoint...and you know what? It works! For the first time in a long time, I am finding myself making progress – not by focusing on the bad within me or past failures, but by focusing on my good qualities, nurturing those sparks, taking my mind in a whole new direction – I am looking upward, rather than downward, if you will, and it is not just something that sounds nice to say or write about. It is making a big difference in my life.
I just want to pass this on to others, because I feel it is fundamentally important, and I also want to try in my own personal life to respond to others when they are feeling down in this way – a positive way, a way that can empower rather than defeat a person, a way that works. Love works. Compassion works. Empathy works. Support works. Being positive with someone works. All these things not only help the person to feel better, but by making them feel better can help empower them to overcome those issues that may have been causing them to feel down to start with.
Friday, September 29, 2006
When You Are Feeling Down
When you are feeling down
Pray let my word choice
Be wise. When I listen to my voice
Is the way I'm talking kind,
Or more like I have an axe to grind?
When you are feeling down
Pray let me to not lay the blame
For faults and sorrow are not the same
Are my words good, positive and true?
Or would they make a happy person blue?
When you are feeling down,
Pray let me not tell you all you need to do
These things you probably already knew
Let me realize sometimes to-do lists are wrong
Adding to your burdens may not make you strong
When you are feeling down
Pray help me to bear those burdens as my own
To put my strength for you on loan
Help me focus on the light within
To fan those sparks to flames again
When you are feeling down
Pray help me have the insight to see
Next time the one who’s down could be me
To give love unburdened, with no strings
Will put the wind beneath your wings
Pray let my word choice
Be wise. When I listen to my voice
Is the way I'm talking kind,
Or more like I have an axe to grind?
When you are feeling down
Pray let me to not lay the blame
For faults and sorrow are not the same
Are my words good, positive and true?
Or would they make a happy person blue?
When you are feeling down,
Pray let me not tell you all you need to do
These things you probably already knew
Let me realize sometimes to-do lists are wrong
Adding to your burdens may not make you strong
When you are feeling down
Pray help me to bear those burdens as my own
To put my strength for you on loan
Help me focus on the light within
To fan those sparks to flames again
When you are feeling down
Pray help me have the insight to see
Next time the one who’s down could be me
To give love unburdened, with no strings
Will put the wind beneath your wings
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